Fit Mom's Blog

I was raised in a family of “no conflict”. As the oldest sister of two brothers, obviously there was conflict, but I don’t remember it ever being physical. There was never a discussion of what to do if somebody hits you. In fact, there was so little said on this subject that I avoided conflict at all costs at school. I wish somebody had taught me some self defense. I wish somebody had taught me how to stick up for myself. When I was in sixth grade, there were some mean girls who liked to make fun of me and called me “nigger butt”. What a crappy memory to bring up…but anyway, I walked away. I had no skills to either verbally or physically stand up for myself. And I don’t remember even telling an adult about these girls..cause I didn’t want to “be a tattletail”.

Advancing twenty years, as a classroom teacher, I could not tell kids to hit another kid. Our recourse on the subject of fighting was if a kid hits you or hurts you in any way, you are to tell a teacher. Gee, how effective is this? Telling a teacher about something they more than likely did not see will only lead to a referral or detention..A slap on the wrist, basically. Or what if they are walking home and the kid you told on is waiting for you to hit you again? You can’t just run and get your parents, or a teacher at that point. The kid has got to be able to defend themselves in situations of aggressive kids or adults.

To further this discussion, as a mother of two wonderfully, sweet boys, I do NOT want them to be walked on at school. My oldest boy thinks that he can walk up to any kid, introduce himself and think that they are or will be his friend. This is a tough thing as a parent because I don’t always want him thinking that if he introduces himself – that means that they are his friends. We’ve had some kids be absolutely wonderful to him at the parks but I don’t always trust the parents. The mother instinct in me is to protect my kids at all costs- but I won’t always be there.

The bottom line that I have just come to realize today is this: I will teach my kid self defense. I will get them outside and active to be physically fit so that he may have the confidence he needs to defend himself if necessary. Thankfully, I married a second degree black belt. He has been trained in Chinese Kick Boxing otherwise known as Jeet Kune Do and we have designated a night for us all to learn self defense tactics, me included.

At dinner most nights, my kids will play a game with their daddy. Benjamin will try to hit daddy and daddy will always deflect it with a “bong sou”. Basically, just an elbow flick to deflect the incoming hand. Both kids already know their bong sous, taun, fuk sau, chung choi (spelling is unknown). And then the reverse happens- “all in play” so to speak. But, they are learning how to defend themselves without us really talking about the “what happens if” scenario.

What will you teach your kids?