Fit Mom's Blog

For my wedding gift, I got a mountain bike.  We’re going on nine years married this May and I’ve barely ridden this bike until the last year when I learned how to haul my kids behind me in a trailer.

Just barely married, Paul took me mountain biking.  The trail was STEEP, ROCKY, and SINGLE TRACK.  I was scared to death.  That ride lasted twenty minutes.  It kind of went like this: “oh my God, I can’t do that!”, or “oh Sh** that is a massive rock” and “you want me to ride up it?” “You’re crazy.”  The second ride or two wasn’t much better.  We took our bikes to Sedona when I was carrying Benjamin and again, the bike ride ended in tears, curse words and frustration.  Mountain biking is a skill.  Did you grow up jumping off curbs, riding in the dirt and generally working on your bike skills? I did not.  Yes, I ride road bikes and raced them too, but have never had a lot of success with mountain biking on any form of single track.  In fact, now I may have developed an unnatural fear of mountain biking.

What am I afraid of?

Things I can’t control. Big rocks, gravel, falling, rolling the Burley, falling.

Guess what, I have fallen.  I have rolled the Burley in my own front yard.  The only thing I haven’t done is fall and hurt myself.  I also happen to be a big baby and don’t want to get dirt on my knees, I am a roadie, dammit.  Hubby has hurt himself many times.  He’s even cut his leg open to the bone while mountain biking.

Today, I thought we were going to ride on a nice FLAT paved trail next to the lake.  Hubby had other ideas. He didn’t really tell me his plan but I thought he was ON MY PLAN.  Nope.  We turned left instead of right and ended up heading UP the freakin fire road at 7,000 feet of elevation.  My comment was you know I am not comfortable on dirt.  Then, on came the fear.  What if I fall down?  What if I got in a situation that I can’t handle due to LACK OF SKILL.  As we start climbing, I can feel my heart rate hit the max, my left hamstring started to tighten because of fear and stress, and I will myself NOT to cry.  The fire road was clean, almost no rocks and wide enough for two cars.  Most of my fears were unfounded- but maybe the biggest is my lack of ability to predict what is around the next corner.

We took a water break after about twenty minutes and Paul asked if I’m ok.  So far, the pace he had set for us was fine for me- at points too slow, but all I could say was “I’ll survive” as I am practically crying.  My mountain bike was doing fantastic on the dirt- it was obvious that it was designed for the dirt.  Kind of like a little jeep that could go straight up a volcano if directed there.

The fears I had were not warranted.  Possibly having Ryan in the Burley intenseivied the fears and I doubted even my basic abilities.  

How did I talk myself out of my ALMOST hyperventilating crying mess?

Breathing. Talking to myself.  This is managable. You can do this.  This is ok.  Focus on the road ahead.

Yes, I have fears. But, you better believe that I will be back out there in the morning trying it again.