How do we motivate and teach our children how to motivate themselves?
I want a bikini body! ( Extrinsic)
Can’t wait till my next race so that I can track my improvement. (Intrinsic)
I made a Poopy on the potty! (Extrinsic)
My buddies are inviting me to be a part of a team time trial and I’m thrilled that they are considering me for their team. (Extrinsic)
Look, you can see my abs, there is almost see a six pack! (hubby) {Extrinsic}
I got it! (Intrinsic)
Something I learned this week that I found incredibly interesting.
YOU ALL who read this every day (thank you- btw) are already intrinsically motivated to become better runners, better athletes, eat healthier, etc. We are all already motivated to be the best we can be and in a previous post, I examined the “Driven to compete” aspect in some of our natures but I wanted to switch gears today and examine the lives of children. (I have gone back to my previous profession- Physical Education Teacher- except this time I will be in a private school where both my kids will go.) How/why did we learn to be self motivated now? Have we always been that way?
In public school, everything was about PRAISE. Positive, praise all day long ad nauseum. Even if the kid wasn’t doing their work, we were supposed to praise them on holding their pencil correctly or making eye contact with you or anything where a PRAISE could be done. (disclaimer, I was teaching in the ghetto) Well, it turns out, that if you PRAISE too much, then maybe the praise becomes a distraction and then the student will NOT learn how to motivate themselves internally. This seems to be the case in the workforce as well- at least for my the young hires who NEED to be praised just for showing up. Forgive me if I’m wrong, but how else do kids learn to think for themselves? When and how will they learn to concentrate deeply on a task so that when they do achieve the task they can actually have confidence in themselves and feel good about the skill they just mastered?
Motivating children is a HUGE part of teaching and I was always the one throwing my hands in the air, “I don’t know”. Particularly inside the classroom, when the demands placed on teachers and test scores became impossible to for learning to be about the ACTUAL student. In the private school test scores are not of primary importance. It’s more about the journey and how to get the child to master the skill on their own. In the end, some importance should be placed on praise but maybe there is a POINT to– the too much praise will TURN THE KID OFF– to motivating themselves to learn something.
What do you all think? Are your children intrinsically motivated to learn new things?
4 responses so far ↓
1 MizFit // Aug 28, 2008 at 10:18 am
INTERESTING! Ive read so many articles lately (as have you Im sure) that we’re over praising and overinflating our kids selfesteem without giving them anything to HANG IT ON (w/out their doing anything)
Ive no clue on the motivating since my daughter is so young….she IS intrinsically motivated to ‘please’ still (I know that vanishes
).
when I go to the schools to speak (about writing) it’s for 3 and 4th graders and they are already cynical and NOT MOTIVATED—–it’s a rough road there already.
cant wait to see other commenters thoughts..
MizFits last blog post..Guest Chef Time!
2 Lance // Aug 28, 2008 at 2:08 pm
I think children are naturally curious – and that makes it easier for them to learn. So, I do think kids have an intrinsic desire to learn – even though they are not aware of it as such. But you bring up a valid point about the amount of praise we give. If something isn’t done right, should be really be looking for something to praise – or should we be working to correct the problem? There is a balance, but correcting the problem should definitely be addressed. Praise when praise is due. Correct when corrections are necessary.
I coach a group of 10-year old boys for soccer. And, I don’t praise them all the time. I do try to praise them when they do something well. But if we have something to correct (like, they are not playing their position) – I focus on the correction. And save the praise for when it is really deserved. And I’ve found this works very well. This gives us learning moments, and then moments of celebration when we’ve put the learning moments into play.
Lances last blog post..Dreams For Our World
3 Rachel // Aug 29, 2008 at 3:52 am
Ok, well, I think that people do not need to be praised for doing something they should. Such as brushing teeth, putting your plate away,coming to school prepared..although apparently in high school- praise is mandatory and that HS students thrive on extrinsic motivators. Seems that the workforce now is acting the same way.
Rachels last blog post..Lighting a fire in your kids’ brain
4 Lori L. // Aug 29, 2008 at 4:06 pm
I couldn’t agree more about overpraising. As parents, when kids come to us with their artwork or show us their clean room, we feel obligated to gush.
I think instead of constant praise, a simple acknowledgement along with eye contact, an “I see you” so to speak, is the way to go.
Some of my favorite words with my son are ‘I see you worked hard” and “I appreciate that.” I save the gushing for special things, like the time his teacher told me he befriended a lonely kid at school.
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